The boss man: I wouldn't be able to work next to her, it would drive me insane.

...
THAT'S MY DAILY LIFE, BOSS, WHY MUST YOU TORTURE ME SO
:( :( :(

My dumb workplace underling intentionally coughed on me yesterday after being out sick for a few days, and now I feel like I'm fighting off her disgusting germs.
Which is great, what I wanted most was to get sick right before flying to California for a few days to visit family and go to my best friend's wedding.

Pretty sure there was a guy rolling a joint at the furthest end of the counter at work today.

I hate clothes, specifically shopping for and wearing them.

I can't find any decent clothes for work, but I did find a lot of good stuff for if I ever change my occupation to hooker.

Oh hey so I joined a pool league.

I got a tattoo on my thigh today. It's sore and I don't think I'll be able to wear pants comfortably for a few days. And there's already random cat hairs stuck to it....

NEW FAVORITE MOVIE

Mr Bishop: Hunts Point, Bronx

Chris Bishop was drinking in front of a liquor store when we met. A resident in the local homeless shelter he told me the following.

At the age of thirteen, Chris killed his father, stabbing him with a knife after a childhood of abuse. He spent the next eighteen years in correctional facilities. 'When he was drunk and mad he would hold me out the apartment window and threaten to drop me to the street, eight floors below. He beat me and my mother all the time. I have been drinking ever since. To forget.'

When I asked how he wanted to be described, his eyes teared up and he said "I am human, like everyone else."

More on Addiction: Faces of Addiction

Even though it's probably the safest/easiest way, old people need to stop using scissors to cut open their mail that contains checks. I've been presented with useless, non-negotiable pieces of paper more than once because an old person cut off the routing and account numbers. And they don't understand why those numbers are necessary. It's cute and sad.

When I start getting old, please kill me.

With this I can unashamedly listen to a bunch of horrible awesome 90s music.

My boyfriend and I met on StumbleUpon and we probably both agree you're all twats.
So we're totally like birds of a feather lol!

I recently got a call from a lady who admitted she made the mistake of overdrawing her account because she transferred funds to the wrong place and couldn't cover a couple checks. Although she admitted the mistake, she didn't want to take full responsibility.
"How come no one called me to tell me my account was overdrawn?"
I tried to politely explain that we're a large bank and there's no way to monitor each individual's account and make phone calls warning of overdrafts. Online banking, mobile apps, the 1-800 number... it's the customer's job to be proactive about monitoring their own accounts.
I also told her she would receive a letter in the mail notifying her if the checks were returned due to non-sufficient funds.
"Why does it take so long to get a letter? Why couldn't they let me know before hand?"

So, here's an awesome idea. We get some crack baby precogs and put them in a secret room underneath our vault. Whenever someone is about to overdraw their account, we have a bank operative (preferably dressed as our mascot) tackle the individual to prevent them from writing a bad check.